What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 10:06
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Can you tell me something about yourself?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
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Make Nazis afraid again!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Is it true that sleeping with your hair down can cause damage?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
TEXT:
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Why does Russia seem so angry over the US and UK missile strikes in Ukraine?
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.